Atmospheric

Cool mist seeps through my skin and into my soul—

the kind of chill that’s hard to forget,

piercing every molecule of my body till the pain is excruciating.

I can’t think about it.

I can’t let myself think about it.

It soothes me like the sound of falling rain,

tricking my mind into thinking there is nothing wrong

until I’m almost believing it.

But not quite.

Then, it hits me like a blast in the face,

forcing me to inhale the toxic smell of sea breeze, the

salt biting at me, teardrops threatening to spill

over my stinging eyes.

Don’t think about it.

Don’t let yourself think about it.

The wave pulls me under,

the undertow dragging me away from the surface,

threatening to pull me back into my sea of grief.

The current’s jaws won’t release me,

puncturing feelings of pain, despair, hopelessness

into me.

I can’t escape it.

The current subsides, leaving me stranded, empty,

drained.

I can’t go back.

I can’t go forward.

Nothing could ever be the same.

I will stay frozen in this moment,

stuck in the open, gray, endless ocean.

Stranded here forever.

Olivia Luke ‘29

This poem is written about my different experiences with grief. It begins with a description of the shock and denial over the loss of someone. The poem then transitions to finally facing that grief, letting yourself be present in it, and finally beginning to process it. The poem finishes with the realization that even though you have faced grief, that person is truly gone, and sometimes staying in denial is more comforting than facing reality.