American Animals

Once a year, every year, all the American animals meet at the Florida coast, down by the

Gulf of Mexico. Here they vote on a list of proposals concerning the animals. And all the

animals promise to behave. The cats will not chase the birds, and the sharks leave the schools of

fish be. All attendees pledge that on the meeting beach, they will not be violent—not physically.

“I’m happy to see Alaska is finally on there,” One of the Laysan ducks said to the rest, all

sitting in a line where the waves gently lapped the shore, as he examined the paper packet tucked

in the brown feathers of his wing. “Lot of good oil up there, and once we get that, Hawaii won’t

feel all that far from everything, ya know? Hopefully, the damn grizzlies won’t block it.”

The Laysan duck (Anas Laysanensis) is a duck native to the Hawaiian Islands. Fossils

suggest that Laysan ducks once lived all across Hawaii, but today only live on Laysan

Island and Midway Atoll. These flight-capable brown birds are a notable resident of

Papahānaumokuākea Marine National Monument, as they are one of the most critically

endangered birds.

And just as all the Laysan ducks were nodding along, there the bears came strolling to the

beachside. The bigger animals were hard to miss when they arrived at the meeting. The

humpbacks would come early before there was a crowd to splash, and the bison were met with

birds flocking to sit on their horns. But eyes lingered on the Alaskan bears, seeing

not the brown fur and padded paws that made them not all that different from the dogs, but,

instead, where the feet had been standing: on top of the petroleum that, if extracted, would’ve

made getting to Florida—to anywhere—a whole lot cheaper.

The Alaska Peninsula brown bear or "peninsular grizzly" is a brown bear subspecies

inhabiting coastal southern Alaska. While genetically they are not significantly different

from mainland brown bears, their diet leads to considerable physical and behavioral

differences. The annual salmon runs allow these bears to bulk up, thereby reaching some of the

largest sizes worldwide.

“I don’t get why they take so long to arrive!” A Laysan duck quacked, loud enough for the

bears and all on the beach and its water to hear.

“Just like last year!” Another chimed in, squawking even louder. “Slow trotting,

big-bellied beasts taking up our precious time.”

And the Alaskan Brown Bears sat in between their close cousins, the Mainland Grizzly

Bears, and the Laysan Ducks who all hacked at the smell of fish that lingered on the thick coats

of fur as if they had not downed Brine Shrimp with the same scent just the day before. And with

all the animals there, they began going through the docket. Before they voted on Alaskan

drilling, there was another issue to decide on:

Should a resort be built on Papahānaumokuākea?

“All who disapprove, raise a limb,” a Chimpanzee spoke. She was the leader of the

animal meetings, and the domestic animals liked her a whole lot. They liked the thumbs that held

the docket because they were reminiscent of the hands that fed them; they liked her human-ish torso and lobed ears.

The Laysan ducks liked her, too; although most wouldn’t see one similarity between the two

species, the ducks said they both valued the same things, swore there was something so similar

about their eyes, and like her—although not in looks—they said they were human-like, too.

And so the voting began, and the Laysan ducks all raised their wings because that was

their home, and how insane would it be to tear down their space to make a few bucks? So, the

Vancouver Island Marmots raised their tiny claws, too, as did the Black-Footed Ferrets from

Arizona. The Mount Coyote Wolves that were reintroduced to Yosemite and the red wolves that

were reintroduced to North Carolina put their paws up. The Yellowstone Bison put their hooves

in the air, and the Everglades Alligators raised their webbed claws. The North Atlantic Right

Whales put their flippers above the water along with Kemp’s Ridley Sea Turtles. And it was

almost enough votes to protect Papahānaumokuākea, but not quite, until the Alaskan Brown

Bears put their paws up. And just by the smallest margin, the proposal failed and the Laysan Ducks cheered,

flying up and down, quacking that they were saved.

Then it was time for the next question:

Should protected areas of Alaska be opened to drilling?

“All who disapprove, raise a limb,” the Chimpanzee spoke. And Alaskan Brown Bears

put their paws up because that was their home, and how insane would it be to tear down their

space to make a few bucks? So the Vancouver Island Marmots raised their tiny claws, as did the

Black-Footed Ferrets from Arizona. The Mount Coyote Wolves that were reintroduced to

Yosemite and the red wolves that were reintroduced to North Carolina put their paws up. The

Yellowstone Bison put their hooves in the air, and the Everglades Alligators raised their webbed

claws. The North Atlantic Right Whales put their flippers above the water along with Kemp’s

Ridley Sea Turtles. And it was almost enough votes to protect Alaska, but not quite. And the

bears looked to the Laysan Ducks, but they just sat there, wings tucked, somehow smiling

through their beaks.

And so, after the meeting, the drilling began. The trees were chopped, and there went the

bear’s forests, but they made do walking through the shallow waters and grasses to avoid the

haunting shrieks of the drills. Taking some of the oil out of there, the ship had a spill, and some

bears died from toxins, and there was less fish for food, but they made do, avoiding the black

stained shore. But when methane seeped into the air and the streams, the berry plants shriveled

up, and the salmon turned belly up. And there was nothing for the Alaskan Brown Bears to eat.

And at the next meeting, there were no Alaskan Brown Bears.

“Good on that Alaska proposal!” one of the Laysan Ducks said as they all sat down on

the shore, the same spot as last year, where they had kept their wings down. “The boat ride was

much cheaper. I gotta see about taking that to other places.”

“But did you see what’s on here this year?” Another one quacked, eyes wide as he read

the docket, “‘Should space debris be dumped into Papahānaumokuākea?’ And after that resort

question last year, it’s like the attacks on us never stop!”

“Treating us like a dump?” One of the ducks tuned into the conversation and read the

question a few times. “This must be a mistake. I’m going to talk to the Chimpanzee.”

So, the Laysan Duck approached her. She sat touching the bridge of her nose like she had

glasses to push back with the packet in her feet-hands, flipping through each page and licking her

finger to do so, like she was a teacher. The duck cleared her throat then said, “Excuse me, miss!”

The Chimpanzee looked around before looking down and seeing the duck. “Sorry, I

didn’t see you there.” She went back to reading as she spoke to her, “What is it?”

“We saw the question about Papahānaumokuākea, and we’re a bit concerned. That’s a bit

ridiculous, don’t you think? I mean, space debris? Really?”

She sighed, “What did you expect?”

“Excuse me?”

She sighed again, still burying her eyes in the papers. “The oil goes into fuel, the fuel

goes into rockets, the rockets go into space, and what's left has to go somewhere. What are you

not getting?”

“But Papahānaumokuākea?” And The Chimpanzee was too busy reading (the Laysan

Duck figured when she didn’t respond to the question), so she went back to the rest of the ducks

and echoed what she was told to them as if she understood it.

“That’s stupid,” one of them said nodding, “but the resort resolution didn’t pass last year.

This won’t pass this year.” So then, the meeting started, earlier than it had previous years, and

then the question was asked:

Should space debris be dumped into Papahānaumokuākea?

“All who disapprove, raise a limb,” the Chimpanzee spoke. So, the voting began,

and the Laysan ducks all raised their wings because that was their home, and how insane would

it be to tear down their space to go to space? So, the Vancouver Island Marmots raised their tiny

claws, too, as did the Black-Footed Ferrets from Arizona. The Mount Coyote Wolves that were

reintroduced to Yosemite and the red wolves that were reintroduced to North Carolina put their

paws up. The Yellowstone Bison put their hooves in the air, and the Everglades Alligators raised

their webbed claws. The North Atlantic Right Whales put their flippers above the water along

with Kemp’s Ridley Sea Turtles. And it was almost enough votes to protect

Papahānaumokuākea, but not quite.

And the Laysan Ducks looked around the beach, to the empty spot of sand where the

Alaskan Brown Bears once sat, waiting for more animals to raise a limb, but only the seabreeze

moved.

Charlotte Lebedeker 25’

This piece was a writing exercise for my creative writing class practicing anthropomorphism in literature. I normally don't write fables, but it felt appropriate for this short story to write it in such a style.